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Kids

Jokes about kids. Young and innocent children see world a little bit different than adults.

17 Jokes to “Kids”

  1. qqq Says:

    A first grade teacher was telling her class about the three little pigs. She got to the part where the pigs get the building materials and said, “The
    first little pig went up to a man and asked, ‘Excuse me sir, but may I have some straw to build a house?'”
    The teacher wanted to know if the class was paying attention so she asked, “What do you think the man said?”
    One boy raised his hand and answered, “I think maybe the man said something like,
    “Holy Sh*t! A talking pig!”

  2. Anonymous Says:

    Teacher: Are you good at math?
    Student: Yes and no
    Teacher: What do you mean?
    Student: Yes, I’m no good at math!

  3. Anonymous Says:

    Question: Where’s an astronaut’s favourite place on the computer?
    Answer: The spacebar!

  4. Durh Says:

    Miss Lee was trying to persuade her class to buy the class photos.

    Miss Lee: Come one kids, if u ever stumble across the pictures in ten years to come, maybe you’ll say, ” Oh that’s Cindy, she’s a lawyer. ” or ” That’s Max, he’s a doctor now”…

    Just then a voice from the back of the class said ” Oh that’s Miss Lee. She’s dead! “

  5. sem Says:

    A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 5-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole event. The man thought, “Great…he’s 5 and I’m gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees. No need to jump the gun – I’ll just let him ask, and I’ll answer.”

    After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, “Well son, do you have any questions?”

    “Just one.” gasped the still wide-eyed lad. “How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?”

  6. Anonymous Says:

    A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, “Hmmm . . . this is funny. When I lost my bag there was a 10 dollar bill in it. Now there are ten $1 bills.”

    The boy quickly replied, “That’s right. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward.”

  7. Jolly Good Says:

    Right foot, wrong feet
    ———————-

    Four year old boy put his shoes on by himself.

    His mother noticed the right shoe was on the left foot.

    She said, “Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet.”

    He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, “Don’t kid me, Mom, I KNOW that they’re my feet.”

  8. task 4u Says:

    Connect Questions to Right Answers. 🙂

    Questions:
    ———-
    Question: How do crazy people go through the forest?
    Question: How do you make a tissue dance?
    Question: What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane?
    Question: What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
    Question: What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
    Question: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
    Question: What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
    Question: What did the water say to the boat?
    Question: What do prisoners use to call each other?
    Question: What do you get from a pampered cow?
    Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
    Question: What dog keeps the best time?
    Question: What’s brown and sticky?
    Question: Where do bees go to the bathroom?
    Question: Where do polar bears vote?
    Question: Where do snowmen keep their money?
    Question: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
    Question: Why did the tomato blush?
    Question: Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?
    Question: Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

    Answers:
    ——–
    Answer: “Is that you mommy?”
    Answer: A stick.
    Answer: A watch dog.
    Answer: At the BP station!
    Answer: Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
    Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing!
    Answer: Cell phones.
    Answer: Dam!
    Answer: Frostbite.
    Answer: He wanted cold hard cash!
    Answer: In snow banks.
    Answer: It let out a little wine!
    Answer: ME!!!
    Answer: Nothing, it just waved.
    Answer: Odor in the court.
    Answer: Put a little boogey in it!
    Answer: Spoiled milk.
    Answer: The North Poll
    Answer: They don’t have the guts.
    Answer: They take the psycho path.

  9. joker125 Says:

    There was a teacher doing math class with her class. and she asked maths question. “there are three fish in a fishtank, one drowns, how many are left?”

    After a while of thinking a girl called fiona put up her hand. “Three.” she replied. “Cause fish don’t drown.”

  10. ??? Says:

    Once there was a boy called William. Everybody called him Willie For short.
    Then one day, willie’s friend called Zip was on top of the cupboard, Willie was inside of the
    cupboard and a boy named Pee was running around. When the teacher came in, she said,”Zip down,
    Willie out, Pee in the corner!”

  11. the king raj Says:

    one day a lady was escaping from the police.While she;s running she saw man with lungi.Then the man lady re said”what’s the problem with you lady,then the lady replied”sir can you say me a hiding spot ,man said “yes ofcourse,hide under my lungi she said O.K.After a while the lady came out,the man asked what did you see in she replied that”I saw two oranges an a hanging banana and I feel like catching it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. Anonymous Says:

    little boy playing with himself,he said to is mom are these my brains, she said no not yet.

  13. Anonymous Says:

    A little girl and her mom are out shopping when she asks:
    Mom, how old are you?

    You don’t ask questions like that, replied mom. It is rude.

    Ok, then how much do you weigh?

    You don’t ask questions like that, replied mom. It is rude.

    The girl is disappointed her questions were not answered and expressed her dissappointment to her friend at school the next day.

    If you really want to know, replied her friend, all you have to do is look at your mom’s drivers licence.
    All the answers are there.

    The next day, after a peek at moms drivers licence, the little girl says to mom,
    Mom you are 32 years old.
    How do you know, replied mom.
    I just do. I also know that you weigh 84lbs.
    How do you know that, replied mom.
    I just do. I also know why dad divorced you.
    Okay, replied mom, why.
    Cause you got a ‘F’ in sex.

  14. Anonymous Says:

    y did the man fart in church
    cause he wanted to express him self in a holy way

  15. Thomas Gallagher Says:

    fat woman wants a car that goes from 0-60 in 1 second so she asks car sales man and he says ”its not a car you want woman, its a waying scales”

  16. destiny Says:

    why did the chicken cross the road?to get her chicks.

  17. cool bag398 Says:

    teacher askes doe any body know abou t uranus
    little boy replies yeah your sitting on it

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